Twisted Tag

When Pepper posted this, I wanted to take up that tag. When a post gets drafted in my mind, I tend to think about it all the time. What the title should be and what are the points I can add. But for this one, my mind was totally blacked out. I dunno why. Our life recently has been so monotonous, so I fumbled for fodder to construct a post on Abbas. Lol. Anyway, I dug deep into my memories and collected some gems that were buried in there. So folks, introducing my man and his strange ways….

1. He has the cheesiest pick-up lines ever. I had almost puked when he proposed to me – “Kya tum mere bachhon ki ma banogi?” (Would you be the mother of my kids?) We had a long distance relationship and he had lines like “When I walk in the streets of Kolkata, I feel that the road, the trees, the street lights are glowing in anticipation of your arrival”. I used to laugh my head over his dialogues.

2. His pair of socks would unanimously be voted ‘the smelliest ever’ award had there been a contest among stockings in the world. Luckily now that we are in Bangalore, they don’t smell much but in Kolkata they were at their stinkiest best. This reminds me of an incident that happened in Kolkata. One of his very close friends had called him home coz there was a major brawl between his wife and mom, both were loud and grabbed eyeballs of neighbors and passersby. Abbas went to their home straight from work and in between the on-top-of the-voice argument, the wife takes a sniff and says “Is there a dead rat somewhere around?” and then she moves around and comes to Abbas and says “Yuck, your socks stink. Go out please…”

3. He had this habit of talking while he was asleep. (I dunno if he still has it coz these days I sleep like a log as soon as I crash on bed) Initial days of marriage, I used to stay up just to record his sleep speech on my mobile.  Few instances – “Seemu, my boss has asked me to not to go to office tomorrow. They want me to go to Science City to get Anaconda from there”, “I am going on a census survey. Andhra Pradesh – Khatam, Maharashtra – Shuru.” and on most nights he used to sing Bengali songs with tarnished lyrics, once he sang “Jana Gana Mana” and asked me to stand up also…

4. He sucks at giving surprises. It was our first Valentine’s Day together. I eagerly waited for him after reaching home from work laden with curiosity. My over-confident instincts were telling me that perhaps he was getting late as he was buying something for me. The stressed out soul finally came home and got into the bathroom to freshen up. My lower lip popped out of disappointment as though a kid would react having denied something. Well, I quickly consoled myself and decided I would not let him know that I was expecting something. As usual, he started to tell the day’s events. “Seemu, you know S gifted his GF with the recent Harry Potter book. She was so excited and happy.” I mildly said “Oh” and that was enough for my man to smell something fishy. Next moment he asked me, “Were you expecting that I would get something for you?” (DUH) I blankly nodded (Never been able to lie to him, have hidden from him, but when confronted can’t manage to lie) The enlightened man said “I have matured from this age of being crazy over Valentine’s Day but I forgot that you are still young, I should’ve thought about it”. Next day a huge Teddy Bear came home as compensation.

5. He used to be one of the renowned soccer players of his time. He has had so many injuries while playing his most favourite game; premier ones being – a broken toe, a spinal cord injury, a major stitch in the forehead. Ma says she used to pray hard every time he left home to play till he came back safe and sound.

6. He has a fascination for pets. And as a kid he used to bring home every other animal that he could lay hands on. He has pet-ted a rabbit, a squirrel, a kingfisher, a mackaw, love birds and parrots. He also had a huge aquarium and he used to take care of it single-handed. He had spotted a kingfisher’s abode in a tree when he visited his hometown in childhood. So he woke up early in the morning at about 4 AM and without informing anyone, he went to catch it from its nest. It seems there were high chances of getting bitten by snake in that area but he had that passion.

7. He is crazy about toys – even stuffed toys. He cuddles our teddy bear and has named it ‘Sunny’ after the pet squirrel that fled. Now he has better pretexts to buy toys in the name of Mantam but he is the one found playing with them.