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How should I react?

27 Mar

Yesterday evening when I went to pick kids from the day care, Mannu came running to me and said that she cried today. Even before I could ask her what made her cry, Tammu came hopping and jumping and told me with a wide grin ‘Mamma, Aaj amar uncle ke ghar jaabo’ (I will go to uncle’s home today). Uncle is one of the admins there and they are both fond of him. Mannu immediately blurted out – ‘Amar isiliye cry korechi. Taa uncle ke saath chala jabo’.(That’s why I cried Mamma. Taa will go along with uncle) I consoled Mannu saying ‘Let me talk to Tammu’. I told her ‘Tammu, we are going to the dance class today’. She replied ‘Okay, amake uncle dance class mein chod debo’ (Okay, uncle will drop me at the dance class) By this time, Mannu was cranky and said ‘Amar sad hoye jabo…’ almost ready for a second round of shedding tears. I told Mannu – ‘Why will you be sad? Anyway you both fight for all things at home. Now, you will be alone and don’t have to fight. Whatever we will bring home will only be yours.’ Tammu declares without further delay – ‘Amake uncle shaaabbb kine debo’ (Uncle will buy everything for me). By now, the uncle started giggling and I was trying hard to remember if we scolded Tammu too rudely last time, did we hurt her in some way, did she think we did not love her, why did she not want to come home, yada yada yada… million thoughts parsed my mind in nano seconds. I decided to play along and see how it goes. I stepped out with Mannu and put on her shoes. Tammu waved at us happily from inside. When her caretaker (CT) told her to go as Mamma was leaving, she said that it was fine as she was anyway going to uncle’s home. I went to the lift and tried to look at her from the corner of my eye and she was least bothered to see if we had left. By the time we could get into the lift, the Uncle, CT and Tammu had come out and were locking the main door to leave. Tammu held uncle’s hand. We entered the lift together and her hand tightly clutched uncle’s. I tried to act cool. When we came out and headed towards the street, Tammu asked uncle pointing to one of the scooters parked, ‘Uncle, ye aapka scooter hai?’ Finally I gave up as she was not even giving me a glance. I said ‘Tammu, you come with me today. We’ll go to dance class. You can go to uncle’s house some other day’. She looked at uncle. He said ‘Yes Tamanna. I have some other work today. I’ll take you some other day.’ She nodded at him, came to me and held my hand. As we waved to uncle and walked towards the dance class, I asked her ‘Tammu, if you had gone with uncle we would have been sad and would have cried for you’. Guess what was her reply? ‘Amar to Shim-paa-lee bola’ (I told shim-paa-lee meaning simply) and her face sported aΒ mischievousΒ look and a wide grin.

On the way back home in auto, she suddenly came and sat in my lap. I asked her ‘See, what if you wanted to sit in Mamma’s lap after going to uncle’s house? You would not have been able to reach Mamma.’ She said ‘Arey Mamma, amake to pata hai kaise ghar jaana hai.Β Auto mein ‘dead-end-left’* bolna hai’. (I know how to go home. I need to say in the auto ‘dead-end-left’) I didn’t know what to say to her!!!

Back home I asked her a couple of times why she didn’t want to come home? And each time she replied that she told shim-paa-lee *rolls eyes* I dunno what to make of this? Is she really that grown up to play around with our emotions to see our reaction? Is she that mature to know that she would be questioned about her action and to avoid any confrontation, she thought she would get away with it by uttering the word ‘shim-paa-lee’? Am I over reacting and thinking too much about it? I am totally confused… Help please…

*Dead-end-left – Everyday after saying our area’s name to auto driver, I say dead end left.

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24 Comments

Posted by on March 27, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

24 responses to “How should I react?

  1. summerscript

    March 27, 2012 at 12:48 pm

    Hmmmm.. I don’t know Seema..May be she Shim-paa-lee told that πŸ˜€
    Dead end left?shim-paa-lee? – kids are growing fasttt πŸ˜€

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    • Seema

      March 27, 2012 at 5:19 pm

      Yeah, too fast to digest at times πŸ™‚

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  2. R's Mom

    March 27, 2012 at 1:13 pm

    oye! are you crazy? of course she is kidding..and R does it ALL THE TIME

    Eg

    R: Amma, mereko aaj hand mein bahut dukh raha hai
    RM in panic: OMG what happened
    R: Kuch nahi,,,aise hi bola

    R: Amma, my aaj maine khana nahi khaya
    RM: kyun
    R: kyun ki teacher ne nahi diya
    RM: oh why not
    R: arey diya rey baba, woh toh maine aise hi bola

    R: Amma, main appa se katti hoon
    RM: kyun baby
    R: Appa ne mereko mara
    RM: kab?
    R: arey nahi mara woh toh maine aise hi bola

    Do you want more examples??? and going to teacher’s house is always there for R as well

    Relax, take a deep breath and enjoy her simpleeeeee bola okie πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

     
    • Seema

      March 27, 2012 at 5:22 pm

      Thanks for those examples RM. I feel so relieved πŸ™‚

      Even Mantam used to say about going to teachers’ or caretakers’ house earlier but would come to me when I would move out saying bye to them. But this time, it was different. Tammy did not even glance back and was chipkofied with the uncle. 😯

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  3. AA_Mom

    March 27, 2012 at 3:18 pm

    baap re – She seems to mischevious. But I do think they figure out very easily what bothers us than what bothers them πŸ™‚

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    • Seema

      March 27, 2012 at 5:26 pm

      She is a brat πŸ™‚ They do figure out what bothers us, agreed. But do they also act to make us bother and see our reaction?

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  4. Smitha

    March 27, 2012 at 4:47 pm

    Goodness! Tammu has everything figured out! Such a cutie pie she is πŸ™‚ And so confident πŸ™‚ Hugs and muahs to the little darling!

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    • Seema

      March 27, 2012 at 5:28 pm

      She has all plans in place and ready made answers to all the questions I might ask πŸ™„

      Will pass on the hugs and muahs in the evening πŸ™‚

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  5. garima

    March 27, 2012 at 5:33 pm

    After reading your post and the RM’s comment I feel kids might be doing this to get their parents attention…Let say if we are busy with some work and kids feel that we ignoring them they might do this just to draw our attention as such kids might want to be centre of attraction and at times feel left out.

    Just my thoughts,I have no idea on parenting.

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    • Seema

      March 29, 2012 at 3:56 pm

      Yes, you might be right. That’s why I had a storm of questions in my mind if she thought we didn’t give attention to her. With twins, it’s like rope walking Garima. The balancing act is tough 😦 especially when both are poles apart! Sigh!

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  6. garima

    March 27, 2012 at 5:36 pm

    Just now I remember as kid I used to watch a program ‘Different Strokes’ .
    In that show once a little boy to seek attention of his father and elder siblings purposely poured water on his bed at night to fool his dad that he has got some diease hence he has started peeing in bed πŸ™‚

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    • Seema

      March 29, 2012 at 3:57 pm

      Haven’t watched that program but that example kind of gave me an idea what were trying to say. Made a mental note of this for future reference. Thank you πŸ™‚

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  7. Ashwathy

    March 27, 2012 at 6:32 pm

    Hahah she figuring out the world around her. I used to spin a dozen stories to tell my amma when I reached home from school.

    Hahha I still remmeber. Amma had told me that we need to write down any stories that the teacher tells us in school. I came home and recited some long drawn out story to her. Amma somehow had her suspicions and asked me, ‘did the teacher really tell you that story’? I said yes confidently. She asked, Are u sure? Coz tomo I will come to school and ask teacher about it.

    I was like 😯
    “No teacher didn’t say it 😦 ”
    If I had waited long enough, I would have seen the amused smile on her face.

    Kids these age!! Why am I not surprised? πŸ˜€

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    • Seema

      March 29, 2012 at 2:48 pm

      ROFL. By the way, how old were you then to brew stories on your own?

      Like

       
      • Ashwathy

        March 29, 2012 at 3:32 pm

        I was around 4 years old πŸ™‚ LKG.
        haha the days of innocence….! πŸ™‚

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        • Seema

          March 30, 2012 at 2:36 pm

          So you are a good story teller eh? I read your CBT stories πŸ˜€ and also the recent one you told your dad when he told you astrologer’s predictions. I still laugh when I remember that πŸ˜†

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  8. Little Fingers

    March 28, 2012 at 1:41 am

    I haven’t experienced this but sounds like she is just kidding, you don’t worry at all. Sometimes its just some phase and the more you think its more worry..Best thing ignore..

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    • Seema

      March 29, 2012 at 2:52 pm

      Yes, now I feel its just a phase. Yesterday night when she was sleeping, I was cuddling and kissing her. All of a sudden she wakes up and tells me ‘Mamma, I love you big much. I won’t go with uncle’ πŸ˜€

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  9. anisnest

    March 28, 2012 at 2:38 am

    these incidents are quiet common as kids grow Seema.. no worries.. chill.. don’t ask her again as she is already clear on not to share the details.. give her sometime.. they will come back on their own. I have seen this many times with Adi.. when I ask she wouldn’t utter a word and then after few weeks even few months in some cases she would start the topic like “amma do you know why I did like that the other day..”.. that time I will pretend like “which day? what?” as if I am not interested.. then she will spill out all the details and I will listen carefully but with a facial gesture as if not interested.. this will happen if she is really bothered as the topic will be fixed in their mind and they will talk it out some day… If she doesn’t do this then take it as she really “Shim-paa-lee bola”.. cool down momma…

    these kids I say.. the moment they know that we are interested they make a big fuss I say…

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    • Seema

      March 29, 2012 at 2:55 pm

      Thanks so much for the instances you quoted from your experience. I was so relieved after reading it Ani.

      I guess I should chill and enjoy ‘shim-pa-lee’ till it lasts and ‘serious’y’ replaces it πŸ™„

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  10. lifeslittletwists

    March 28, 2012 at 12:58 pm

    Arey dont worry. Im sure she was just telling and would’ve howled the minute she saw you disappear πŸ™‚

    Yes, I think they being to understand and experiment with the emotions. If I scold Chutku on the way back home in the car, he immediately says “Naanu Jyothi amma hattira hogtheeni” – see how he plays around…. :-O

    Its just a one time thing I think… Dont worry….

    Like

     
    • Seema

      March 29, 2012 at 4:06 pm

      Gosh, he already does that eh? 😯

      Phew, after reading all the comments, I’m sure I need to take a chill pill. Thank you re πŸ™‚

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  11. My Era

    March 28, 2012 at 3:32 pm

    I’ll be honest, I’d be just as worried you were given Tammu’s confidence.
    Though I do understand that kids play pranks and copy our actions in the little ways they’ve understood about them, but in today’s times, I’d be really scared for a minute or two for sure.
    Love the Tammu has everything clearly sorted in her mind, just the way she’d told your domestic help to take her cycle so that she could get a new one πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€
    Lots of love and hugs to the little darlings and their worried mum πŸ™‚

    Like

     
    • Seema

      March 29, 2012 at 4:12 pm

      Ya… She is a ‘Teekhi Mirchi’ re!

      Thanks a lot for the hugs πŸ™‚

      Like

       

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