Mantamisms – after a long break

In Wonderla,

After coming out of the play pool, both Mantam are shivering rigorously. They are not able to express what they’re going through. This is how they put across:

Mannu: Mere andar kuck kuch ho raha hai. (Something something is happening inside me)

Tammu: Mere teeth up and down kyu ho raha hai? (Why are my teeth moving up and down?)

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When we went on the tilted saucer ride, Kaku, Kakima and Ma stayed back. But Mantam came along with us.

Mannu: Why are Bor-dadu, Didun and Didi not coming Mamma?

Me: They’re scared.

Tammu: Arey Mamma, wo log vegetables nahi khate hain, strong nahi hai, isiliye scared ho gaya hai. Lekin Mannu Tammu to vegetables khata hai, strong hai, isiliye scared nahi hua hai.

Me: *rolls eyes*

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We went in the crazy cars, Mannu sat with me. The person in charge there came and safely belted us. While I was being a paranoid and thinking that I must hold her with my left hand and handle the steering with my right hand, Mannu asks me very confidently:

“Will you drive or shall I drive?”

I wanted to bang my head on the steering 😛

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One fine day in Bulu,

Tammu: “Mamma, will you marry me please?”

Me: “Why beta?”

Tammu: “I want to marry you Mamma. Please na?”

Me: “Errr…. Okay. When?”

Tammu: “Friday?”

Me: “You need to go to school and me to office on Friday”

Tammu: “Ok then Sunday?”

Me: “Ya fine” (gambling on her forgetfulness)

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Mannu was crying for some reason, when I proceeded to embrace her and lift her in my arms, she kept her body so stiff that I felt a slight muscle pull in my shoulder. When I let out an “Ouch”

Tammu: “Mamma mereko shaadi nahi kiya na? Shaadi karta to main mamma ko oil massage kar deta na?” (Mamma didn’t marry me na? Had you married me, I would have given you an oil massage)

Me thinks: Whoever educated her about the fringe benefits of marriage? 😀

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RM had sent them story books of Toto the Auto and the driver Pattu. They loved the stories especially because we ply on auto daily in the evenings.

In each of the story, Toto talks to Pattu but Pattu hears something else. For eg, Toto says, why don’t we get a rope? But Pattu replies, why do you need a soap now?

Both giggle a lot whenever Pattu hears a rhyming word. Mannu got so fascinated by this syndrome of Pattu’s that she has begun saying rhyming word for whatever we say. She generally replaces the first letter of each word with alphabet ‘P’. So the conversation in our home goes like this:

Me:  Teacher ne books bheja hai. Aaj books ko cover karenge.

Mannu: Pooks ko power kyu karna hai? (giggles)

Me: Drink your milk Mannu.

Mannu: Drink your Pilk-aa?? (snorts)

Me: Thoda sa khao na Mannu?

Mannu: Phoda sa phao?? (chuckles)

At times it’s funny but other times it gets on my nerves. So one day, I began poing the pame phing pith per. (Get the drift?)

Mannu: Mamma…

Me: Pamma? Who is Pamma here?

Mannu: Mamma kya Pattu ke jaise sunta hai kya?

Me: Mamma Pattu ke jaise punta hai

After some time, she realizes how it is to be on the receiving end and doesn’t like it one bit.

Mannu: Sorry Mamma….

Me: Porry aa? What porry?

She gets irritated and is about to break down. I give her a big hug.

Now we both go on Pattu mode only when the other is in a good mood. It’s actually fun. Pry it once…

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Toto is a hero who helps people with his brave deeds.

One day when we are coming back in the auto, we saw another auto completely inverted.

Our auto’s driver stopped the auto, went to check on his fellow driver.

Mannu: Ye auto nahi jayega help karne ke liye?

Me: Driver uncle gaye hain na help karne?

Mannu: To ye auto kya sad hai?

Me: Yes

Mannu: Ye cry kahaan se karega?

Me: Errr…. (ponders for an answer for what seems like eternity, remembers Ross when he whitens his teeth and is unable to answer the girl’s questions on his date) we can’t see the auto’s tears…

Thankfully the driver comes back by then and then questions about what happened to the other auto continues…

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Tammu walks on her toes one day with her heels raised and asks us:

“Mujhe aise waala shoes kharidke do na Mamma Baba” (Buy me such shoes na?)

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Generally Mantam’s morning routine includes, removing their diapers and throwing in the dustbin and then brushing their teeth… so on and so forth.

Today, Tammu forgot to remove her diapers. We had got up late and were completing our chores quickly to watch Satyamev Jayate. Nobody noticed that she hadn’t removed her diapers.

At around 12, Tammu suddenly remembers that her diapers are still on. She slowly slides her pant and shows me with a naughty grin, “See Mamma”

Abbas notices and admonishes her “Tammu? You didn’t remove it yet?”

Tammu, the expert in ready-made answers: “Main to Baba ke liye surprise rakhi thi” (It was a surprise for Baba)