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Day 29 | When Amma spoke

29 Jan

This happened in October 2015. I wanted to write about this on the blog but somehow it never made it here.

In 2015, when Amma’s birthday was nearing something made me look for online gift delivery services to my town. I had done this search many times even before but there was no such facility available as Kundapura is a small town. But that very time, I landed upon a website that would deliver to my town at an additional delivery fee. I was beyond ecstatic to find that I could finally send something to my family. My mom is not a fan of cakes or sweets as much. I thought flowers would be the safest bet and ordered flowers and a card for her.

On the day of her birthday, I got a confirmation that my order had been delivered. After returning from work, I called Amma. This is how the conversation went:

Amma: Hello?

Me (hesitantly) : Huh… huh…looo

Amma: Haan Hello

Me: Amma, Seema here

Amma: Yes tell me

Me (thinking Amma didn’t hear that it was me, coz this was the first time she responded after hearing my voice, otherwise she would just go on silent mode): Amma, I’m Seema speaking!

Amma: Yes, I know!

Me (thought I was dreaming, heart paced faster than ever, pinched myself hard, didn’t know what to say next, mumbled in a single breath): Happy Birthday Amma

Amma: Thank you

Me: Amma, did you get the flowers?

Amma: Yes I got the flowers, they’re good

Me (Still overcoming shock that she spoke to me, but clueless what to speak next): ?!?!?!

Amma: God bless you. Be happy.

….. And she hung up

I was still in a daze. It all felt surreal. Abbas kept asking me what happened? And I took some moment to collect myself together and told him how that call had gone. We were both astounded at what had just happened. We couldn’t believe it, Abbas asked me many times if I had really heard her say all that! And I was like ‘Yes, yes, yes!’

Although our happiness knew no bounds that day, I still had a doubt that she had to speak to me normally as I had heard some background noise with a lot of people chatting in the background. She might have just done so to avoid an awkward situation. I dunno why but it was too good to be true that your mom had spoken to you after 9 years. In spite of the doubts, our hopes of being accepted had suddenly shot up. We thought this could be a small beginning. Abbas told me to call back in a few days to keep it going. I was terribly scared to call back again, I wanted to live in the exhilaration of having heard my Amma speak to me. I was scared that the next call would break that euphoria and that is exactly what happened. Next call went back to the usual scene of me calling and Amma not responding. Sigh!

Cut to 2016 October, I ordered a combo of flowers and some sweets. I think the website specifically asked for a mobile phone number and my Annu’s (dad) number was all that I had. So I gave his number and placed the order. Come 9th of October, I was waiting anxiously to receive a delivery confirmation and to call her. I had a tinge of hope that the history could repeat again. I received an email saying the order could not be delivered to the recipient as they had rejected to receive the delivery. I was devastated. I made a call nevertheless and this time asked Mantam to wish Amma first. But my dad had picked up and as soon as he heard Mantam’s voice starting to sing ‘Happy…’, he bluntly hung up. I was too stunned to react. Tammu started crying profusely, Mannu was visibly upset too. I decided from then on that I would not ask Mantam speak to them unless the relationship comes to good terms. I don’t want to paint a negative picture of my parents in their eyes.

Honestly, I was shattered beyond repair after that incident. I resolved not to contact them ever again out of disappointment. But I found myself texting my dad (dunno if he reads them at all) the very next day. The hope of reuniting with my parents is gradually dwindling in its strength. I just wish them well, that’s all!

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20 Comments

Posted by on January 29, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

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20 responses to “Day 29 | When Amma spoke

  1. Tharani

    January 30, 2017 at 1:29 am

    Okay i teared up reading this Seema. Hugs hugs to you and your little girls.

    Like

     
    • Seema

      January 31, 2017 at 11:42 am

      Sorry Tharani, wrote it after dilly dallying for a long time. Thanks a lot girl, and tight hugs right back to you.

      Like

       
  2. More than words

    January 30, 2017 at 2:33 am

    Hugs Seema !! I don’t know what to say except this post made me so sad ….

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    • Seema

      January 31, 2017 at 11:41 am

      Sorry dear. I kept delaying writing that post as I didn’t want to recollect and re-live the feeling again. But decided to write any way during the blogathon. I too was very upset after I wrote the post but with so much warmth from all of you, I am coming back to my usual cheerful self and the brush-it-off-and-move-on attitude! Thanks for the warm virtual vibes as always.

      Liked by 1 person

       
  3. lifeslittletwists

    January 30, 2017 at 5:06 am

    Oh Seema! πŸ™ is there anything anyone of us could do to help? Hugs and more hugs dearie…

    Like

     
    • Seema

      January 31, 2017 at 11:38 am

      Like Pop said, I don’t think anybody can do anything in this situation to help. Only a miracle needs to happen to change the situation. But yes, those hugs are always helpful. Thanks for them RS!

      Like

       
  4. tara

    January 30, 2017 at 5:26 am

    Seema, I had thought I would never raise this topic again on your blog again. This post just tugged at my heart.

    I hope and pray things get well soon dear. Your dad may have misinterpreted the call. He may have thought it to be a telemarketing call. As far as messages are concerned, I have to call and ask my dad to read a message. Also, even if he has disconnected the call, so what dear. They are our parents.

    Do keep calling and keep your hopes up. loads of love and wishes. I am sorry for blabbering so much

    Like

     
    • Seema

      January 31, 2017 at 11:36 am

      Tara, why did you think that you would never raise the topic again. Did I say anything that hurt you in my last reply? I’m sorry for that, if I have.

      I do agree with you on not getting upset and continue to call my parents and keep the hopes alive. I did, in fact message my dad the very next day. And keep messaging him once in a while, send our pictures etc. He may or may not see them, it’s up to him. Keep your comments coming dear. I do need them in situations like these when my attempts don’t get a response and I declare out of frustration not to get in touch with them ever again. I will need your advise to put things to perspective.

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      • tara

        February 1, 2017 at 5:22 am

        Arey no yaar, you have not said anything. It’s such a raw issue. I don’t want to make you sad by talking about this. At the same time I know you always do think about this.

        I have been reading your blog since ages. So I have read all your posts.I wish I was somewhere nearby your place. I would have visited and ensured your mom spoke to you. If wishes were horses…….

        My prayers are always with you.

        Like

         
        • Seema

          February 7, 2017 at 2:01 pm

          Aren’t you a sweetheart?| Thanks a lot dear. I don’t feel sad by talking about it as it’s something that is always in my mind running like a background job. So rest assured, your suggestions are always welcome dear.

          Like

           
  5. Anonymously Disguised

    January 30, 2017 at 7:27 am

    A big hug darling. I know the feeling too well and unlike you, I don’t have parents to call anymore.

    Like

     
    • Seema

      January 31, 2017 at 11:31 am

      Ohh dear. Really sorry to hear that Sakshi. And yes, who would know the feeling better than you, my soul sis!

      Like

       
  6. Maya

    January 30, 2017 at 8:50 am

    Hugs, Seema! I don’t even know what to say. I really really hope your parents talk to you all soon.

    Like

     
    • Seema

      January 31, 2017 at 11:28 am

      It’s ok dear Maya! Those hugs were more than enough:-*

      Like

       
  7. popgoesthebiscuit

    January 30, 2017 at 1:46 pm

    Hugs Seema ! Cannot even imagine how happy you must have been after that first call and had some hope that the next would be good too. Sorry to hear things went back to being bad between you and them. I agree with your thinking to keep the kids out of it for now. Sad to hear they cried. Really hope for a miracle here and for you all to reconcile and for your parents to get to know their beautiful grandkids.

    Like

     
    • Seema

      January 31, 2017 at 11:27 am

      Thank you so much Pop! I know, only a miracle can change things in my case. I have gotten used to it now dear. But yes, one can only hope and leave the rest destiny, specially things that are out of one’s control.

      Like

       
  8. Roopa Mahale

    January 31, 2017 at 3:58 am

    Seema dear!, sending you lots of hugs! I have tears in my eyes reading this!

    Like

     
    • Seema

      January 31, 2017 at 11:17 am

      Thanks for the warm hugs Roopa. I know you can understand the pain very well. Much love dear

      Like

       
  9. anisnest

    February 6, 2017 at 8:32 am

    hugs Seema.. Don’t know what to say.. wish you all to get together sooner!

    Like

     
    • Seema

      February 7, 2017 at 9:09 am

      One can only wish Ani. Waiting for that day. Thanks for the warm hugs dearie πŸ˜€

      Like

       

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