This happened in October 2015. I wanted to write about this on the blog but somehow it never made it here.
In 2015, when Amma’s birthday was nearing something made me look for online gift delivery services to my town. I had done this search many times even before but there was no such facility available as Kundapura is a small town. But that very time, I landed upon a website that would deliver to my town at an additional delivery fee. I was beyond ecstatic to find that I could finally send something to my family. My mom is not a fan of cakes or sweets as much. I thought flowers would be the safest bet and ordered flowers and a card for her.
On the day of her birthday, I got a confirmation that my order had been delivered. After returning from work, I called Amma. This is how the conversation went:
Me (hesitantly) : Huh… huh…looo
Amma: Haan Hello
Me: Amma, Seema here
Amma: Yes tell me
Me (thinking Amma didn’t hear that it was me, coz this was the first time she responded after hearing my voice, otherwise she would just go on silent mode): Amma, I’m Seema speaking!
Amma: Yes, I know!
Me (thought I was dreaming, heart paced faster than ever, pinched myself hard, didn’t know what to say next, mumbled in a single breath): Happy Birthday Amma
Amma: Thank you
Me: Amma, did you get the flowers?
Amma: Yes I got the flowers, they’re good
Me (Still overcoming shock that she spoke to me, but clueless what to speak next): ?!?!?!
Amma: God bless you. Be happy.
….. And she hung up
I was still in a daze. It all felt surreal. Abbas kept asking me what happened? And I took some moment to collect myself together and told him how that call had gone. We were both astounded at what had just happened. We couldn’t believe it, Abbas asked me many times if I had really heard her say all that! And I was like ‘Yes, yes, yes!’
Although our happiness knew no bounds that day, I still had a doubt that she had to speak to me normally as I had heard some background noise with a lot of people chatting in the background. She might have just done so to avoid an awkward situation. I dunno why but it was too good to be true that your mom had spoken to you after 9 years. In spite of the doubts, our hopes of being accepted had suddenly shot up. We thought this could be a small beginning. Abbas told me to call back in a few days to keep it going. I was terribly scared to call back again, I wanted to live in the exhilaration of having heard my Amma speak to me. I was scared that the next call would break that euphoria and that is exactly what happened. Next call went back to the usual scene of me calling and Amma not responding. Sigh!
Cut to 2016 October, I ordered a combo of flowers and some sweets. I think the website specifically asked for a mobile phone number and my Annu’s (dad) number was all that I had. So I gave his number and placed the order. Come 9th of October, I was waiting anxiously to receive a delivery confirmation and to call her. I had a tinge of hope that the history could repeat again. I received an email saying the order could not be delivered to the recipient as they had rejected to receive the delivery. I was devastated. I made a call nevertheless and this time asked Mantam to wish Amma first. But my dad had picked up and as soon as he heard Mantam’s voice starting to sing ‘Happy…’, he bluntly hung up. I was too stunned to react. Tammu started crying profusely, Mannu was visibly upset too. I decided from then on that I would not ask Mantam speak to them unless the relationship comes to good terms. I don’t want to paint a negative picture of my parents in their eyes.
Honestly, I was shattered beyond repair after that incident. I resolved not to contact them ever again out of disappointment. But I found myself texting my dad (dunno if he reads them at all) the very next day. The hope of reuniting with my parents is gradually dwindling in its strength. I just wish them well, that’s all!