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Eleven completed, forever to go

Dear Abbas,

Just another year passes by with the hope of my family accepting our union, and honestly the chances seem to be slimmer with each passing day. Sometimes, I tell you that I have given up but you rekindle the belief that they will come around one fine day. I dunno if we will have the much hyped ‘happily ever after’ with my family but today I want to rejoice the ‘happily-married-for-eleven-years’ moment.

Our relationship has grown so much. We both have transformed a lot shouldering responsibilities together, facing new challenges life hurled at us and most importantly by being parents to the two little fairies who we brought into this beautiful world. It has been one helluva journey, hasn’t it? As much as a fairy tale that it sounds, we have had our fair share of obstacles, downfalls, skirmishes and the not-so-nice moments. But they have only made us and our love for each other stronger.

The life in this country tests our patience at times. With no support whatsoever, the going gets tough. Both of us seek downtime and we hardly get any. Atleast I have a great deal of fun as I go to my company’s parties, go out for lunch with colleagues/friends, do things that I enjoy every now and then. But you have been working tirelessly without any rejuvenation. I wish you took some time off for yourself but you tell me that you would rather spend time with the three of us.

In the last one year, as my workouts saw the transition of going from seldom to almost non-existent, I became increasingly lethargic. Although I still do all the cooking, and the usual chores in the house, I do realize how I drag myself reluctantly to tick them off. Those were the days when I would be up at the break of dawn even during the weekends and by the time you and Mantam woke up, breakfast and tea would be at your service, But these days, not only am I sleeping in but also am waking up so late that you make tea and wait for me get my lazy butt off the bed and make breakfast for everyone. As a result the lunch and every other weekend chore gets delayed by domino effect. You always pitch in and help me to get my act together in every possible way that you can. I can’t thank you enough for supporting me even in my worst possible avatar. If this is not true love, I wonder what is?!

You have always been and still are the best at calming me down when I’m agitated, admonishing me when I lose my sensibility, correct me when I am at fault, praise me generously every so often that it makes me wonder what I have done to deserve you. You put me on a pedestal in front of Mantam and encourage them to appreciate all that I do for them. You are so proud of me and keep yapping away to all and sundry about every trivial of my achievements. I try my best to reciprocate all this but I think I still have a lot to improve on.

Thank you for being the kind of man that you are. I love the way you always make sure that you ask me before even making trifle commitments with friends/relatives. I feel so proud to have married a man who has no qualms about declaring that he will be able to confirm after checking with his wife. I feel at peace thinking of what a good example you are setting of being a lover/husband and a father. Mantam would clearly know what qualities they must look for in their life partner.

Marrying you was the best decision of my life and I consider myself fortunate to be your wife. Here’s to many more years of nagging, annoying and of course doing what we know best, loving each other!

Forever yours,

Seemu

 
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Posted by on May 2, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

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Withdrawal symptoms detected

I had heard somewhere that when you do something continuously for thirteen days it becomes a habit. I’ve been writing every night for the last thirty-one days before going to sleep. I seem to be highly addicted to this and had to switch on the laptop before making my way to bed.

Just a small highlight of the day to record here:

I made Abbas read yesterday’s post the first thing this morning as soon as he woke up and we were in a mushy mood. We had to wake up early as Abbas was traveling to the city office today and had to take the train instead of going to his usual office (located in a remote place). Now the office that he had to go to was very close to mine. I really wanted to go out with him for lunch as we hardly get this kind of opportunity as we work in two different corners of Sydney. But Abbas told me that he had the meeting from 12-4:30. I still messaged him around 11 to check if he would be able to meet me and he did not reply. Since I had not taken my lunch with the hope of eating out with my husband, I walked to a place that made manoushe (a kind of lebanese pizza)first and then went to the nearest park with takeaway lunch and a book in my hand. The next 40 minutes were spent devouring the delicious food, feeling of reading after a long, the lush greenery and birds in the park.

I went back to office and received a call from Abbas asking if I could come. I had to deny heavy heartedly as I had already been away during the lunch break and couldn’t afford to venture out again. Around 3PM, I suddenly got an idea to go back home with him. What if we couldn’t lunch together? We could travel in the train together! I left work early and met him in the station. We sat side by side, holding hands, talking without any distraction after a long time. I felt so happy as we hardly get opportunities for this kind of alone time anymore 😦 We walked back home together, hopped into our car and I sat behind the steering wheel. I have mustered all the courage to start practicing for the driving test. We went to pick Mantam from their after school care and came back home.

Conversation during the usual tea-sipping session:

Abbas: Seemu, what are you making for dinner?

Me: Pan fried noodles

Abbas: Hey I had bougt that Ching’s instant noodles. Make that na? Why are you making complicated stuff and taking stress

Me: I’m using your Ching’s noodles only to make pan fried noodles only.

Abbas: Why do you make your life so complicated? You could have easily made instant noodles and taken rest. But no, you have to find a way to invite challenge on yourself.

Me (thinking what veggies I have in the fridge I can add in): Errrr…

Abbas: You could have easily married a guy whom your parents would have chosen for you. You would have been living a luxurious life and made everyone happy and been contented yourself. But no! You had to make it complicated and chose to marry me. A guy whose to toe is broken, ligament is torn, spinal chord injured and of course the rest of the mismatches like religion, age, bla bla!

Me: (I am bad at expressing verbally. So I showed him this video:)

And yes, he snores 10 times louder and worser than the guy in the commercial. Yet, I could not have asked for a better husband for myself!!

 

 
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Posted by on February 1, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

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Day 31 | Happiest person today

…. is none other than the man of my life. He has been counting days and waiting for this month to end even more keenly than all of us bloggers who participated in the Blogathon and were racking their brains to churn out post after post to keep the momentum going.

Most common scenes at our home during this month:

Situation 1

It’s a week night and I am still in the kitchen cleaning up, loading dishwasher, washing the bigger utensils by myself, cleaning the kitchen countertop, and the clock seems to be on fast forward mode inching towards 11 PM. Abbas comes to me and says anxiously….

Scene 1:

Abbas: “Seemu, can’t you skip blogging for one day? Just come and take rest.”

Me: “Haven’t you known me in all these years?”

Abbas: “Grrrr!!!


Scene 2:

Abbas: “Seemu, shall I give you an idea for today’s post?”

Me (excitedly):”What? What?”

Abbas: “Just write, Will be continued tomorrow”

Me: @#@$#@$@$#@@


Scene 3:

Abbas: “Seemu, it’s too late today.”

Me (frowning): “Hmmmm. I know, what to do?”

Abbas: “Do a shortcut post today na? Maybe just post some photos and get done with it”

Me: “No, I have already drafted a post in my mind. Just need to type it out”

Abbas: “Oh that’s great! You have it all sorted na? I knew you were smart enough to think of a quick fix post today”

Me: “Arey no, in fact the post is actually quite long”

Abbas: “What?! Ok bye. Good night.”


Situation 2:

I am still lazing around and my engine is on hibernation mode, meaning my body and mind are reluctant to do anything at all. Abbas knows that I still have the blog post pending and too many chores to wrap up.

Abbas: “Seemu, you go write the post, I’ll deal with the dishes.”

Me: “Oh thank you. I love you so much”

Abbas: “Tell me all this in Feb. Hmph!!”


Situation 3:

Abbas is in the bedroom waiting for me to finish publishing the post and come to bed. I am in the drawing room typing away to glory.

Abbas: “Seemu, come here and do your post na?”

Me: “No no, if I sit on the bed, I’ll fall asleep”

Abbas: “How long will you take?”

Me: “I dunno yaar. Trying to finish as soon as possible”

Abbas: “Seemu, I miss your touch….. When will this month get over???”


Situation 4:

I finished all my chores and about to sit with my laptop while Abbas is watching TV.

Me: “Are you going to bed now? Or will watch TV for some more time?”

Abbas: “Why do you ask?”

Me: “If you are going to bed now, then I’ll sit in the drawing room. If you are going to watch TV now, then I’ll go to bedroom and finish my post”

Abbas (snarling): “This blogathon is separating us. I don’t like it”


Situation 5:

I finished my post for the day and went to sleep. Abbas was still awake.

Me: “You know Baba, what is most satisfying about the blogathon?”

Abbas: “What?”

Me: “Every day when I hit on Publish button, I check the calendar on my homepage which gets highlighted on each day that I have posted. It makes me feel accomplished every day as the calendar gets filled up.”

Abbas (suddenly turns romantic out of nowhere): “I’m so proud of you”


This was pretty much the scene every other night. Mantam also tried to help out in whatever way they could by reminding me of some funny incidents and conversations. Special thanks to my dear friend Harvy, who has been loyally reading my posts and correcting some mistakes that I make and I’m so grateful to her for that. Last but not the least, thanks to RS and Maya for initiating the blogathon this year. Hadn’t it been for you both and all the other fellow blogathon mates, I wouldn’t have been able to sail through these 31 days so smoothly. Congratulations to all of you!

Strangely, this time around I did not resort to cheat posts. I wrote every single day, even on days when I thought I will cheat, I ended up typing my heart out. One more thing which was different this year for me was that I visited and commented on the blogs that I follow quite frequently. The best part was that I have diligently moderated comments and replied to most of you who have taken the time out to read and comment on my posts. Thank you all so much and also to those silent readers who make me feel their presence in the stats of this blog. I can feel the warmth, love and affection and it means a lot.

Signing off this year’s blogathon with a promise of blogging actively this year. (Errrr…. and not chewing my own words!)

Much love,

Seema

 
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Posted by on January 31, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

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Day 2 | Abbas turns 40

Abbas turned 40 yesterday and we did not have any plan for celebrating the occasion this year. We were dead tired after the New Year Eve Firework adventure. And we had planned a vacation on 2nd, so all we had on cards was to recover from the exhaustion, complete domestic chores and pack our bags for the short trip ahead of us. I did not even plan to bake a cake as we would neither be able to finish it nor carry it along due to the hot weather. It was a bland boring day in short.

I made some of Abbas’s favourite Bengalis dishes for lunch (with a hidden motive of clearing the groceries in the fridge but making an impression that it was all for him :-D) I also made the rice pudding (payasam) to keep up with the yearly tradition. Mantam made a treasure hunt for him by hiding clues in different places around the home. Each clue led him to either a card, note or a handmade gift by them. It was super fun to see their creativity. One of the clues read that he could find his next clue in somewhere / something with which he works hard and that was his work laptop bag. We thoroughly enjoyed the process.

After lunch, we went to take a nice relaxing nap. When we woke up from the sleep, suddenly our doorbell rang and we were taken aback as to who it would be. Our friend S had come over with her family with a cake to surprise Abbas. It was certainly a pleasant one and spiced up the day for us. Their arrival brought a cheer to the environment and we had a great time chatting and laughing. Abbas cut the cake and we all had payasam together. Although we couldn’t finish the packing, it felt really good to have loved ones around on a special day.

They left around 10 PM, we had dinner and cleared up. While Abbas was expecting that we could start packing together, I said that that I had to write my blogpost for the day as my blogathon had begun from that day. He was super pissed with me but then I know that he also secretly enjoys reading them. When I started typing on the laptop in a rush, he prompted from the background that my quality of writing diminishes when I rush. He patiently waited for me to finish up and we started the packing around midnight. Phew!! Couldn’t have asked for a better husband than him, he truly is made for me 😀

Happy 40th my dear! Hoping to grow older by age and younger by heart with you  😀

 
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Posted by on January 2, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

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Day 30 | The selective loudmouth!

I dunno how I missed mentioning it but 14th of this month was my birthday. My friend M had called Abbas beforehand and told him that she would come home in the evening to surprise me. Abbas being Abbas, cannot keep a secret and told me immediately. Now my birthday being a weekday, that too mid-week, we knew the house would be in a mess with things splattered here and there. We had plans of going out for dinner with Ro and his wife. So, I suggested Abbas to tell her to directly come to the restaurant. Now the worst punishment for me was to act as if I was taken aback. But I was touched by M’s gesture of baking a delicious Pineapple upside down cake for me and she also gifted me a very pretty cake stand that I had been eyeing on for quite some time

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The same Abbas who I knew couldn’t hide a thing from me, gave me massive heartburn when I discovered a packet of cigarettes in his bag. I had my doubts about him secretly smoking and had also doubted him on a handful of instances but everytime he boomeranged it on me and made me feel guilty for doubting him. So this was how I discovered his top secret. On a Sunday, Abbas was to go out for grocery shopping with Ro. I saw him hovering around his office bag which I had kept along with Mantam’s school bag in their room. I found it strange and when I asked him, he said something to divert my attention. I came back to my room and was checking me phone when I noticed that he came to check what I was doing and quickly added “Hey call Megha quickly and ask her what rice do they have. Will check if that brand is cheaper and better. You are calling right?” I said yes and was about to make her a call, when as if sixth sense, it struck me that Abbas again entered Mantam’s room. Immediately I went to their room and saw that he had unzipped the office bag. I asked him “What was he looking for?” He said “You again started doubting me right? You have upset me once again Seemu” and proceeded to the living room and sat on the sofa. I sat on the other end of the sofa which would lead to Mantam’s room, so there was no way he could go to that bag without bypassing me. He hopefully sat on the sofa but I didn’t budge. He finally got up and said that he is going. As he stepped out, I again had a gut feeling that he would come back to check if I had left the sofa to check his bag. And that is exactly what he did, within half a minute he came back with the pretext of forgetting to take the garbage bags. Once he was convinced that I was still perched on the couch, he left. I still sat for 5 minutes there to be safe. And once I was convinced that he had left, I checked his bag and I was shocked to see a packet full of cigarettes. I was devastated. I thought I must not lose me cool and handle this tactfully. I emptied the packet and left a note to him in it “Thank you for betraying my trust time and again” (I can be quite a drama queen, lol) and then I just went about the day normally. Now I didn’t know if he had seen the note or not. Monday came and there was no message or call from him. I was clueless but at the same time my heart sank even more at the lack of any reaction. Finally, in the evening when I reached home he made a puppy face and came to hug me with an apology. That was when all my pent up frustration came to the fore. I told him he didn’t even deserve to apologize. So after a lot of tug of war, we came to a mutual agreement that I would not put emotional pressure on him which made him hide his addiction from me and he would put in sincere efforts to completely quit this time over. I told him that I would be happy if he confessed to me rather than me coming to know it this way. It would be two weeks this Sunday that he stopped smoking. I bought him nicotine chewing gums to help subside the cravings. Hoping that he finally quits it for good.

 
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Posted by on January 30, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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Day 16 | Quirky You – Quirky Me

Abbas keeps saying things out of context. His problem is he means to say X but utters Y instead unintentionally. Sample this:

Seemu, there are too many vessel to be to washed today. Don’t bother. I’ll load them into washing machine. (He means the dishwasher)

Mantam, can you please pick your stuff off the floor? I’m gonna microwave this room. (You know what he means, don’t you?)

When it is getting late and Mantam are still loitering around even past their bed time – Seemu, can you please take them along with you and give them a bath? (He meant to say put them to bed)

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I tell Abbas to get readymade rotis / tortillas one night as I was very tired and we had some gravy already. Guess what he comes back with! Puff pastry sheets 😛

I ask him to get mushrooms along with a list of some more items. Once he comes back from shopping, we put away things in the right place. Abbas tells me – “Hey, why are you keeping the mushrooms outside? Put them in the fridge”. I get surprised because I did not get to see mushrooms at all among the things he brought? I asked him where the mushrooms were. He showed me a packet of garlic. Duh!! And here I was feeling proud of him for having brought garlic even when I had forgotten to mention it in the list.

Abbas has gone to get the groceries and I message him on whataspp. “Baba, get coriander seeds NOT leaves” as I was damn sure he would goof up otherwise. Even after such clear instructions, what do you expect? My man victoriously comes home with a packet of coriander powder.

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One morning, Mantam and I reach the station. I chat with them for a couple of mins and say good bye. Tammu starts laughing uncontrollably. I had to leave immediately to catch my train but I was curious to know what had gotten into her. She wasn’t in a position to utter a word when I asked her why she was laughing, tightly holding her tummy unable to stop. I was getting impatient “Tammu, jaldi bol, kya hua. Bolna jaldi plz, train miss ho jayega”. And then she points her index finger towards my face and continues to chuckle. I then fumble with a hand on my face and try to figure out what’s so hilarious about it. That’s when I have the Eureka moment. I had worn different earrings on each of my ears. One long and thin, other fat and round. I started laughing too but had to quickly run to board that train while removing the mismatched adornments off my ears 😀

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Another crazy mad morning… Usually we leave home by 8:10 AM. But that morning was crazy, I started getting ready at 8.10. We managed to leave home by 8.17. Don’t ask me how. I held Mantam’s hand tight and we ran as and where we could. And I patted my back and also Mantam’s as we made just in the nick of time. I didn’t have time to say good-bye to them. I rushed to the train platform. And that is when I had an intuition that I had missed something. I had a gut feeling that something was wrong. While I was stepping my way down the staircase to reach the platform, as though my sixth sense guided me, my hands automatically moved near my trouser fly. And I almost exclaimed “Oh S#!t !!!” It wasn’t zipped at all. And to think that I ran all the way from home to bus station, and then to the platform with the trouser in unzipped state was so embarrassing. But you know what? Every cloud had a silver lining. Fortunately for me I was wearing a black trouser with a black undergarment. I chose to think that nobody must have noticed anyway. I held my lunch bag right infront of me as if to safeguard and entered the last carriage which is mostly empty. I quickly zipped and started laughing alone like a maniac.

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In the initial months when we were looking for jobs, a friend suggested to join a few meetup groups and attend their events. As getting a job through reference is known to be in vogue here. I went to attend a meetup. People were just casually talking to each other and introducing themselves etc. I was among a group of people and everyone was chatting. Suddenly one of the guys went away and came with a stick sort of a thing which had a number attached to it at the top. We were still yapping away. And suddenly a waiter came with a plate full of French fries and salad. Blessing him for having brought the food at the right time, I quickly grabbed one French fry from the plate. The guy with the numbered stick was shocked and seemed to be in disbelief. Everyone else in the group cracked up and then that guy also started laughing!! The waiter handed the plate to that guy and took the stick away. That is when it dawned on me that he had ordered the food for himself and I had royally taken a French fry even before the plate reached him. I felt so embarrassed and apologized to him profusely. (I was so used to the way starters are served by waiters in parties back in India and anyone could pick it up :-P)

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I generally don’t remember my dreams but I’m able to recount this one. It’s about a girl N, who is seeing my cousin P. I have grown so close to N since the past 1 year. She came in my dream one day and this is how the dream unleashed:

N came to our home for a visit. I am like the most authoritative person in our home and everyone listens to me (Only in my dreams!) As soon as N enters our home, I tell everyone to go to the loo and do su-su.

Abbas and Mantam obediently go and pee one after the other. But N bluntly refuses to pee. She sternly tells me in a point-blank fashion “I don’t wanna pee” I get very angry but control my rage.

Next I tell everyone to go and take a shower. And as though habituated in taking my orders, Mantam and Abbas take shower one after the other. But N continues to be adamant in disobeying me. But thinking that she is a guest, I keep quiet and decide to ignore.

But after a while P calls N to check her whereabouts and she starts bitching about me how I tortured her to pee. She asks P to talk to me and make me understand that I am not supposed to tell her when to pee. I tell P how important it is to pee and that I was doing this for N’s good only! P asks me “Your toilet doesn’t have a flush right? That’s why N didn’t want to pee” I get very pissed off at N as she gave misinformation about my toilet to P. I tell him that our toilet does have a flush!!! P tries to calm me down and says “Seemakka, don’t worry. You make Jaljira tea in the evening and give it to her. She is bound to go to the toilet”

Can you beat that???

 
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Posted by on January 16, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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Day 8 | BB arrived on Diwali

Diwali was on a Thursday and it being a working day here, we decided that we would take the delivery in the evening. Abbas was excited beyond words. It was as if he was bringing his bride home. Hehehe 😀 Abbas left early, picked Mantam and another friend M (who had earlier stayed with us with his family) also joined him and they went to the showroom together. Ro and I started from our workplaces and directly headed to the showroom. Abbas had reached early and got all the formalities done. Ro was to drive us back home as he was the only one among us to have a DL 😀 M was more excite than us as he is very passionate about cars and he was constantly clicking pictures. Abbas also drove for a while as he was authorized to drive while accompanied by a person with DL. After reaching home, we decided to freshen up and then go out for dinner. We invited Ro and M’s family also.

We quickly changed into some traditional clothes, lit diyas that Mantam and I had hand-painted. I had made Besan laddoos in the morning before leaving for work. We carried a few sparklers with us to light outside. That was pretty much a Diwali on our toes. We were drop dead tired by the time we hit the bed and there was another working day waiting to barge upon us. (At times like these when we mope about going to work, we remind each other of the days when we were desperate to work and shun the sulking)

GB had asked a valid question about Abbas’s DL. As we had anticipated he failed the next two attempts as well. He passed at his fourth attempt which was 6th of December. So, for almost a month and a half, BB just beautified the garage. Abbas would go meet her in the garage every weekend and spend some time with her. We did take her out a couple of times but when Ro was there to accompany. Abbas was tempted to drive her by himself but I would admonish him and strictly advice to adhere to the rules. We also paid Ro back within November as we had told him. Luckily, Abbas got his DL at a good time as Mantam’s school was closing down on 17th and they joined the school Vacation care from 18th. Abbas also started driving to work which was a great relief.

Here are some pictures of BB and our Diwali celebration:

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Posted by on January 8, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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