Day 17 | How we celebrated Christmas

Mantam had been discussing since November what they wanted to ask Santa but their wishes kept changing. In December, they told me that Ms. Mathews had asked them to write a letter to Santa with three wishes. I pounced on the opportunity and told them “Oh, you finally decided right? You can’t change it anymore as Santa will start buying gifts based on your letter.” I casually asked them what they had written. Mannu said “Frozen sticker book, Frozen makeup set and a slinky” Tammu said “Blue shoes like Elsa, Puppy dog and a slinky” I exclaimed “Oh no. What if Santa really gives you a puppy dog? Who will take care of it when we are away from home during weekdays?” Tammu said “Oh don’t worry Mumma. I have wished for a toy puppy not a real one.” I had to sneak in all these gifts under the nose of my aware-of-all-that’s –going-on-around-her Mannu. One evening Abbas had picked Mantam, so I quickly went to the mall and bought two slinkies as they could easily be hidden in the handbag. After that I didn’t get a chance to buy the gifts for the next couple of weeks. Everytime we went to shop, these two would be with us and it’s very difficult to pass anything without Mannu’s knowledge. She has a sharp sight, and even sharper mind. We just put up our Christmas tree and the wreath (I was cheap enough to hang the wreath inside instead of outside the front door)

In the meantime, we received the Santa’s reply along with the letters they had written. And to my horror, there was no mention of Slinky anywhere. So there you go, I was back to square one. One Sunday, when Abbas took Mantam to their swimming class, I went to the mall and bought all the items on their wishlist and also got a roll of wrapping paper and hid everything in the topmost kitchen shelf. On the eve of Christmas, we came back to the mall nearby home to buy a few essentials as all the shops were going to be closed for the next two days. We also clicked our picture with Santa in the mall. After coming back home, I made the traditional fruit cake as I have been doing every year for the past 3 years. Mannu said “Mumma, I can’t wait to see tomorrow.” They were packed off to bed after dinner. Once I was sure that they were immersed in sleep, I started the job of wrapping all the gifts. Abbas asked to me to pack the slinky also. So everything was packed and placed under the Christmas tree. I was myself getting so excited and couldn’t wait to see their reactions.

Abbas and I heard Mannu murmuring in her sleep. We were certain that she was seeing Santa delivering gifts 😛 At around 6 in the morning, we heard Mannu calling out “Mumma!” and I replied from our room “What happened Mannu?” She said “Did Santa come?” I said “I dunno dear” She said “Can I get off the bed and have a check?” I said “Why not!” And she went to the tree and shrieked in disbelief at the sight. She came running to us and told that Santa had indeed delivered presents. Even Tammu woke up and they started opening the presents. Abbas and I just sat on the couch and savoured the happiness on their faces and the joy in their expression. It was absolutely worth the wait!!

Mannu: “Mumma, Santa knows that I’m too young to use a makeup set na? That’s why he gifted lip balm only!”

Me:”Yes beta. Santa is very intelligent”

We wanted to go out later during the day but it started raining in the afternoon and didn’t stop at all. So we just relaxed at home. Next day we went to do some boxing day shopping and bought just a couple of things as the crowd there was maddening!! We still had weekend pending. We went to a beach, built sand castles, played in the waves, had fish and chips on Saturday. Sunday was spent relaxing again. That’s how we celebrated Christmas in our own simple way.

Had placed a bowl with little bit of crumbled fruit cake and a glass with little juice in it, so that Mantam think that Santa had consumed it 😛

Opening the gifts early morning

Our tree with the gifts placed

Day 12 | Right to choose a religion (or not)

Abbas and I never felt the need to talk to Mantam about religion till they turned 5. We would celebrate Eid, Diwali and Christmas every year with the same cheer and fervour. We did speak to them about God but never specified a name per se. We did pray together as a family once in a while and we just spoke aloud, requested God to keep our family and friends safe, healthy and happy. Tammu would even add “God, I wish you a lot of happiness” So that was it. Also during the festivities, we never worshipped any God, nor followed any specific traditional customs. We had our own customizations. On Eid however, Abbas’s parents would coax him to go to a mosque and offer prayers. He would do it just for their sake. Apart from that, Eid meant Biryani, Sweet Semiya and Mehndi for us. Diwali meant sweets, lighting diyas and crackers while Christmas meant decorating the tree, waiting for gifts from Santa and making the traditional Fruit Cake and distributing it among loved ones. Having said that, we also practised and taught Mantam to always respect other festivals and take part in it enthusiastically whenever presented with an opportunity.

Then came the time when we felt the need to speak to them about religion. Mantam were playing in the apartment park in Bangalore last year. There were a bunch of kids mostly elder than them. One of the boys started asking all kids what their religion was. All kids answered confidently while Mantam had no clue about what he was talking about. He ignored them after they didn’t answer the second time he asked and moved on. While I was a spectator to this and was tempted to answer on my daughters’ behalf, it did hit me hard that they might face the same situation in my absence. That night Abbas and I decided that the time was ripe to explain to them about religion. The next day we had a light and open talk with them.

Abbas: Mantam, Baba and Mumma need to talk about something very important. So listen carefully and ask us if you don’t understand

Mantam: Ok

Abbas: We want to tell you about something called religion. It just so works that there are different religions in this world and people follow one of those. For example, my family follows Islam while Mumma’s follows Hinduism

Mantam: What is the difference Baba?

Me: It’s just that each religion has their own ideas and rules (Those were the easiest words to suit their vocabulary) Now, since Baba was born in a Muslim family he became one automatically. Same with me. But now that Mumma and Baba came from different religion and married one another and you do not belong to any one particular religion. Baba and I have decided that we will not follow any religion too and just live our lives as good human beings. But you both are free to choose what you want to follow once you are 18 years old.

Man: I want to be Muslim (She loves Abbas and always tried to do things to please him)

Tam: I want to be Hindu. Err… what other choices are there?

Abbas: Mantam, someone at school or anywhere else might ask you what is your religion. All you have to tell them is humanity. If they further ask you what is humanity, reply by saying that humanity is about being good human beings, being helpful and kind towards other people and environment.

They did have many questions later which we answered but I just remember the gist of the conversation. But at the end of it, they did get the essence.

When we were filling up their forms for school admission in Sydney, there was an option to select “No religion” and we did that. Their school being one of the most multicultural schools, has religious scripture classes every Tuesday. Parents were given an option to choose any one of the religious scriptures or choose for non-scripture class where a teacher would be conducting some activities for kids who did not attend scripture classes. No prizes for guessing that we opted for the latter.

When it comes to food, I am very adventurous when it comes to trying out all available options. Abbas was a bit apprehensive initially. But after having eaten Bacon-Cheese bread by compulsion, there was no looking back for him. So, we have been eating anything and everything without any restrictions at all.

While we live our lives as per our own values and beliefs, we do firmly follow the ideology that we must not ridicule other’s beliefs. I think that there is no right or wrong here. To each his own! But only as long as one does not thrust one’s beliefs on others. Abbas and I would be happy with Mantam’s choices too as long as they turn into good human beings!

What are your thoughts on teaching kids traditions and customs? I would love to hear different perspectives.

Day 11 | Of tooth fairy and Santa Claus

Mannu’s first tooth fell during the the time we were packing up for our departure. We kept a Rs.10 note and she was on cloud nine to see that. Her second tooth fell when in Kolkata and she got another 10 rupees note. Tammu’s tooth didn’t fall for quite a long time. Her first one fell just a couple of months back and now we were in a dilemma if Mannu would be sad about having received in Indian rupees while her sister would get Australian dollars (although they have no clue about the conversion rates). Abbas came up with an idea of giving them the Indian currency notes that we had brought with us. Tammu received 100 Rs. (as we had run out of 10 Rs. Notes :-P) Mantam asked howcome their friends receive gold coins from tooth fairy and they received Indian rupees? Abbas told that Indian tooth fairy had visited them 😀

We have been celebrating Christmas from last 4 years and I used to just keep one present each for them every year of my choice. As they never were told anything about making a wishlist at school. This year, their teacher made asked them to write a letter to Santa with three things that they wished for. We were asked to send an envelope if we wished the child to get a reply from Santa. This was an initiative by Australia Post. The school would submit the letters from kids to AusPost and they would mail the reply from Santa to the kids’ address. Mantam had a valid question about why we had to write our address and submit the envelope separately? Their logic was that if Santa can deliver presents by himself, why did he need the address for writing letters? I came up with a counter logic that Santa knows that all kids want presents but he wasn’t sure how many kids wanted to receive letters from him. Also since he must be busy with packing and sorting presents, he would give the letters to postman for delivering them. They were convinced 😀

In the daycare, a few elder kids told them that there was no Santa and it was the parents who hid presents under the tree. They asked me if it was true. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t like lying to them but I didn’t have the heart to disappoint them. I thought they were already compelled to be mature earlier than their peers due to the circumstances; I wanted them to enjoy this magic of innocence atleast. I told them that it was upto each one of us to believe in Santa or not. Tammu told that we must keep food at night and see if it was eaten by Santa in the morning. That could prove if Santa existed or not. Fortunately, within a couple of days they received the reply from Santa and they were so happy and never had slightest of doubt about Santa’s existence.

PS: I was touched when Tammu said “Mumma, we must also keep a present for Santa under the tree. He delivers presents to everyone. Who will give him presents?”

I will write a separate post on how we celebrated Christmas. Here are the pics of the letters:

Mannu’s letter to Santa

Santa’s reply to Mannu

Tammu’s letter to Santa,

Santa’s reply to Tammu

Day 8 | BB arrived on Diwali

Diwali was on a Thursday and it being a working day here, we decided that we would take the delivery in the evening. Abbas was excited beyond words. It was as if he was bringing his bride home. Hehehe 😀 Abbas left early, picked Mantam and another friend M (who had earlier stayed with us with his family) also joined him and they went to the showroom together. Ro and I started from our workplaces and directly headed to the showroom. Abbas had reached early and got all the formalities done. Ro was to drive us back home as he was the only one among us to have a DL 😀 M was more excite than us as he is very passionate about cars and he was constantly clicking pictures. Abbas also drove for a while as he was authorized to drive while accompanied by a person with DL. After reaching home, we decided to freshen up and then go out for dinner. We invited Ro and M’s family also.

We quickly changed into some traditional clothes, lit diyas that Mantam and I had hand-painted. I had made Besan laddoos in the morning before leaving for work. We carried a few sparklers with us to light outside. That was pretty much a Diwali on our toes. We were drop dead tired by the time we hit the bed and there was another working day waiting to barge upon us. (At times like these when we mope about going to work, we remind each other of the days when we were desperate to work and shun the sulking)

GB had asked a valid question about Abbas’s DL. As we had anticipated he failed the next two attempts as well. He passed at his fourth attempt which was 6th of December. So, for almost a month and a half, BB just beautified the garage. Abbas would go meet her in the garage every weekend and spend some time with her. We did take her out a couple of times but when Ro was there to accompany. Abbas was tempted to drive her by himself but I would admonish him and strictly advice to adhere to the rules. We also paid Ro back within November as we had told him. Luckily, Abbas got his DL at a good time as Mantam’s school was closing down on 17th and they joined the school Vacation care from 18th. Abbas also started driving to work which was a great relief.

Here are some pictures of BB and our Diwali celebration:

Festivals in pictures

As the transformer had burst yesterday, there was no power since yesterday. I had left hopes of posting today as we were spending time in dark till late evening. We were absolutely bugged and decided to step out for dinner. When we came back, the transformer was finally fixed and I am left with very little time to squeeze in the post of the day. Here are the pictures of some festivals that we celebrated in the last year:

Diwali celebrations

One month ahead of Diwali, the apartment’s core committee called for a meeting. Apparently they have been celebrating Diwali every year with some competitions for kids and adults alike. They also erect a stage and organize performances by kids and enthusiastic adults. Responsibilities of different activities were divided among us. Choreographing a dance number for Mantam’s peer group fell into my bucket. I was a bit apprehensive about managing a group of eight kids in the beginning. When we began, everything started falling into place. The most difficult part was the time that we had in hand for preparations. We had only a week, that too a working one! I would come back from office and straight away head to the community hall where the kids would be assembled. After a few rounds of practice, the kids would pester me for a break. If I indulged them with a short break, they would scamper around and make nerve-wracking noise. So, whenever they got tired, I would make them sit down in a circle and make them some play some games. It would be fun, we would all laugh so much and regain energy for some more rounds of rehearsal. The song was Happy Diwali form the movie Home Delivery. It is a peppy number and everyone loved the song and my group’s performance.

There were 3 other groups that performed dance numbers. A bunch of kids also sand two songs taught by my friend AJ’s mom. On the eve of the event, all the ladies of the apartment decided to sing together. The song undisputedly had to be ‘Mile Sure Mera Tumhara’ apt for our context. All of us were away from our roots but celebrating together as a unit. There were also drawing and musical chairs for younger lot of kids, while elders kids had the Diya decoration and treasure hunt contests. Infants weren’t left behind. They were dressed with fancy costumes and brought on to the stage by their parents. Elders were divided into group of fours and asked to give a makeover to one of the group members using newspapers. Abbas, AJ Mom and I made up our team member as an Egyptian Pharoah. There was also a contest for couples where we were asked to dance on a sheet of newspaper, while our legs had to be within the newspaper. As the contest progressed, the level of difficulty kept raising with the newspaper sheet being folded to half. At one point, it wasn’t possible for two people to stand together on the paper, most husbands lifted their wives. I was contemplating to quit as Abbas has never been able to lift me till now. Just then the music began and Abbas jumped like a frog and hugged me with both his legs and hands. I was flabbergasted and everyone laughed till their stomachs hurt!! Abbas and I even participated in the Antakshari and won the second place. Yummy snacks were served at the end of the celebrations.

Sweet memories of this event will stay with us for a long long time to come!

Leaving you with some pictures:

My birthday in pictures…