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Last single digit birthday!

Every year I open my letter on your birthday like a broken record quoting my favourite ‘time flies’. How very true when we remember the day you were born and realise how far we have come together in what seems like no time at all. In the initial few years of your lives, when our lives had become topsy turvy, I would always wonder when you will grow up! I couldn’t wait for your next milestone and wished if your growth could be fast forwarded in some way. I longed to enjoy the luxurious ‘Me’ time. Now I can have as much time for myself as I want, as you both have become so independent. But I sometimes do wish to go back to that phase where you were still dependent on me for the most basic of your needs (though I was the one who was in a rush to teach you those skills). I miss those innocent questions that were asked by the dozen, even if I would get annoyed at times. At times like these, I can’t pat my back enough for having started blogging and recorded those simple moments of joy along the years. No matter how many photos or videos we have collected, these snippets of conversations are much more precious as they bring the magical moment alive, which would have otherwise got long forgotten.

 

Mannu,

Like I always say, “What would I have done without you sweetheart?”. You are my Girl Friday. I could barely function if it were not for the assistant like you, who is blessed with so much care, love and responsible nature. You are a leader and always impose your own rules and/or orders on Tammu. As much as she enjoys you taking care of her, she detests your bossing her around even more. We keep talking to you to work on this, you have improved to an extent. But I can’t blame you in totality as Tammu does act kiddish all the time and you cannot handle it. You are an adult in a child body, aren’t you? Abbas and I absolutely admire your ‘never-say-never’ attitude. Tammu and you both joined Gymanstics class, Tammu was a natural due to her body structure and flexibility. It was an uphill task for you, but you refused to give up. We learnt heaps from you, dear, to step out of comfort zone and punch your scariest demon in the face, and with gusto. Atta girl!

Cleaning is something you are obsessed with and I can’t thank my stars enough (Abbas still thinks I have used some kind of black magic to brain wash you into this because we have hardly seen adults work with such precision) I remember the day when we went to our Tax Consultant’s office and it was extremely untidy. When we came out of there, without a moment lost, you commented “Mumma, how dirty was that uncle’s office. I was so tempted to clean it then and there” I was in stitches laughing at your craze for orderliness. You follow me like the proverbial Hutchison dog wherever I go. I declared that I would start going for walk over the weekends. You started setting alarm next to your bed so that you could accompany me, even better wake me up in case I bailed out in the morning. During our walk, you started picking rubbish strewn on the way. Your tiny little hands weren’t enough to hold the amount of rubbish we encountered. So we came up with a plan to carry a garbage bag along. You teach me to do a lot of good dear. I wish you never let go of your attitude towards life and care for people surrounding you.

 

Tammu,

 

My cute little baby, hope you always remain my teeny tiny bundle for life. While Mannu acts all mature and grown up, you are still holding on to innocence to a certain extent. You are a happy go lucky personality with a jovial persona. Your creativity never ceases to amaze us. The funny stories that you spin spontaneously, the hilarious expressions, weird poses you strike in front of mirror, the minion language that you speak… bring so much of zing to our lives. You care a damn about the worldly responsibilities and rever in your own beautiful dreamy space. Due to this nature of yours, you inevitably get to hear the lectures from us about how it is important to do your duties, take up responsibilities, yada yada yada. You try to adhere to the best of your ability. But the carefree soul in you takes over more often than not. Well, it’s not all that bad as I have realised that it is this very trait of yours that makes you forgive, forget and move on like a piece of cake. You hardly ever carry any baggage. So, be the same little nutcase that you are!

 

Your love for dolls and toys are still in tact. You really take care of Johnny like your own son. He is one fortunate doll, I tell ya! This year around Grandparents day at school, you cried because you have never seen your maternal grandparents. That was the day I felt so helpless and incapable of consoling you. Thank you for always cheering me saying you would go to Kundapur when you grow up to convince them to speak to me. You have been going to different classes but you don’t seem to keep your excitement for long. The only thing you have consistently kept at is writing and drawing. You wish to become an author and illustrator one day.

 

Sweethearts,

 

No matter which path you choose in your future, all I wish is for you to be great human beings. Always be kind, helpful and caring towards everyone that crosses your way. Remember to celebrate the simple joys of life as they go a long way than any material possessions. Never be afraid to take chances, as you would either end up with success or a lesson. There is nothing you will lose. Live, let live, be happy and spread happiness!

 

Love,

Mumma

 
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Posted by on June 8, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

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Testing the waters

I always wished to learn swimming some day in my life. But I realized that it was more of a need than want when we booked a Snorkeling tour a few years ago during our Goa trip but could not get into the water as the coordinators warned us not to try if we have don’t possess this basic life skill. Imagine going on a boat to snorkel, where rest of the folks enthusiastically dived into water and we were sitting inside the boat like stupid dumb spectators killing time by watching others do it. That day I decided that I will learn swimming some day. Like a lot of other things on my checklist, this one was forgotten soon. Well, there weren’t many opportunities to learn when we were in India. We moved to Sydney, got our kids admitted to swimming classes and inquired for Adult classes. Unfortunately there were advanced classes for adults but no basic ones. Last year our local Aquatic centre launched Beginner lessons for adults. We kept procrastinating as there were other priority tasks (as is always the case). One fine day when Abbas went to renew Mantam’s swimming lessons, he called me and said “We’ve been pushing this to the backlog for ages. I’m getting both of us enrolled. Let’s do it.” I was shocked, “Whattt? We can’t afford it now, we have too many things going.” Abbas “Arey, we will always have too many things going. Let’s do it.” Me replies “Errrr, if you say so, fine! Let’s do it then!!”

 

Each group has 4 students and one instructor and they conduct 30 minutes class every week. Abbas and I were in the same group and two other men. I missed the first class! Abbas came home and told me that other two guys are also not complete amateurs. I was a nervous wreck before my first class. Abbas could float and also move ahead in water, although he didn’t know the techniques. In my case, I could hardly even stay under water for more than a few seconds. The D day arrived and when I spoke to the instructor, she asked me where should she begin from. I told her that from the most basic level as I have never ever done anything in water! She tried to hold my hand and drag me forward, and told me to lift my feet from the ground. I was worse than the kids who learn swimming. My feet refused to budge. She gave me a pool noodle but nay, my feet were as adamant as before. She then procured a kind of waist band that helps people float from somewhere. With too many gears to lean on to, in my first class I learnt just lifting my legs from the ground but they were still diagonally immersed in water. Phew!

 

We started going on Saturdays to practice. We bought a pool noodle for me to practice. The fun part about going over the weekend was that a lot of other parents came with their children to teach them. In our case, the roles were reversed. Mantam were my teachers, strict ones at that. I was the tantrum throwing child saying I just couldn’t do it. They would comfort me, encourage to do better, applaud when I did better. I thoroughly enjoyed being a kid to my doting daughters. These practice sessions helped me so much. I let go of the waist band in my third class. With due progress, I learnt to float without any clutches. I was on cloud nine the day I floated by myself, without any help. I missed one more class due to flu. Altogether I took about 7 classes, at the end of the term, I was able to float and swim the distance of a metre on my own. We have decided not to go for any further classes. We need to practice more and more with our patient, in-house, loving instructors.

 

Any of you who has been thinking of learning some new skill, but never got to do it due to fear or other commitments taking priority, I insist that you do it on a whim right away. Trust me, tomorrow never comes. Live in the moment and make the most of it.

 
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Posted by on June 5, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

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What’s up?

It’s been a while since my last post? This year after the Blogathon, I had vowed to be regular throughout the year. Almost everyday, I have had a blogpost drafted in my mind but somehow other mundane chores take priority on most days. On remaining days, it’s my slumber!

I just want to write down what’s been happening in our lives in my favourite bullet points:

  • First things first, We got the  much awaited council approval of plans for our home on 20th of Feb (Co-incidentally the same day 3 years ago we had got our Australian visa grant letter). Subsequently, we also received the letter of authority to commence construction by the end of February. We were thrilled and couldn’t wait for the construction to kick start. But as the old adage goes, “Man proposes and God disposes”, March dawned with heavy and continuous rains. There has been no breather since and it’s going to rain cats and dogs till the end of this month. In summary, we are just waiting while paying our monthly installment for a piece of land. Sigh!!
  • I have been practicing driving with Abbas (only to increase his blood pressure everytime he sits in the passenger seat). I have booked my test on 31st of March. I booked driving lessons too, just to be thorough with rules. Although I have no hope of passing in the first attempt (No human that I know of has passed in my suburb in their maiden test), I am determined this time to keep at it. Thanks to RM, Maya, TP, Roopa and some of my other friends here who were as scared as me but went ahead and gave the tests till they achieved that lucrative Licence. I am hoping for the best but prepared for the worst.
  • This year when we went to enroll Mantam to the swimming classes, Abbas told me that the adult beginner class has slots too and we grabbed the opportunity with both hands and got enrolled. I must write a separate post on our journey.
  • Mantam’s school music band conducts try-outs for kids when they enter Year 3. Mannu was sleected for flute and Tammu for Clarinet. Mannu had already completed her basic course in Drums and was so passionate about it, so we requested if there was an option for her to do drums instead of flute. Initially they denied but later told us that there is a spot available for drums. Tammu had also done keyboard last year but we saw that her interest in keyboard had hit rock bottom by the end of the year, so we let her go with Clarinet. They have lessons every Monday after school and rehearsals every Monday morning before school.
  • I had joined a bootcamp near office and went atleast twice a week but ever since the Monsoon season started, workouts have taken a back seat.
  • While we are talking about learning new skills, I have learnt to make the heart pattern on coffee that the baristas make. We have a professional coffee machine at workplace where we start from the scratch by grinding the coffee beans. After several failed disastrous attempts, I am now able to make the heart pattern and planning to slowly graduate to the leaf pattern.
  • Mantam are continuing with the gymnastics classes this year too. But they don’t have the same enthusiasm as last year. Abbas and I are wondering if we should let them continue or quit. We did ask them a couple of times but got very neutral answers.
  • Mannu got selected in her school’s dance group this year while Tammu got selected in the T-Ball team.
  • Too many things going on our lives and we are loving it. 2017 has been a great year so far and we hope it continues to be so

How have you all been? How’s this year treating you so far?

 

 
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Posted by on March 18, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

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After effects of Valentine’s Day

How we celebrated Valentine’s Day:

We don’t do anything special like buying each other gifts or going on romantic dates as such. I mostly bring out the love letters, cards, fleeing boarding pass, train tickets, hotel bill from a stack that I have preserved. I pick a few and hang them on my magnetic photo frame. It feels so good to revisit the adrenaline rush during my teenage years, and to reminisce the amateur love that has grown older, stronger and more mature over the years. There are only a couple of items that Abbas had sent to me for obvious reasons J but the ones that I sent are so mushy and make me blush when I read them.

This year, I was very cautious when I chose which cards to hang as Mantam read anything and everything. I chose cards that had my love for Abbas scribbled all over them but nothing very sensuous. As expected Mantam went right to the cards on the morning of the 14th and went Ooohhh, Aaahhh and Awwwing and said “Wow Mumma, you must really love Baba so much” and I nodded in agreement trying to hide my pink cheeks. I made a rose with a strawberry, cut a few watermelon slices in heart shape using cookie cutter and made a sizzling dinner with some Paneer cut in heart shape and that was pretty much it. Abbas and I went through some of the cards together and relived the beautiful memories. Abbas told me that he would have to go to the city next day where my office was and we decided to meet up for lunch.

After a lovely Val day, the very next morning we had a fight, a very serious one at that. I was being a bit slack that morning and not rushing as I knew that I didn’t have to cook anything but just pack whatever was there from the previous night. Abbas was totally worked up because he had to leave early and it didn’t occur to me. He made tea, fixed breakfast for kids and was also struggling to wake them up while I was recharging my dying batteries. He got so pissed off that he started saying things that prompted that he was doing everything while I wasn’t doing anything. Well, it was true at that point but he meant that it was the usual routine and that he was burdened with too many responsibilities. I retorted and told him that he didn’t have to do anything if he thinks he is doing me a favour and that I was capable of managing everything by myself. One thing led to another and the argument got a bit carried away.

Abbas got ready and by then I had packed his breakfast and fruits. He kissed Mantam good bye and declared “I will not kiss Mumma today as she doesn’t deserve it”. And I murmured “Who cares!” under my breath. He stormed out saying he wouldn’t even meet me for lunch.

Flashback:

One of those mornings when Tammu is very upset with Abbas as he woke her up against her will. And she refused to kiss or hug or say good bye to him in the normal way. He left home and I gave her a big lecture on how we must always express our love, hug and kiss our loved ones before saying bye. You might regret it if something happens to your loved one and the guilt that you behaved badly with them is too painful to bear. Tammu had cried profusely and called Abbas from my phone and apologized to him.

 

As soon as Abbas slammed the door behind him, Mannu started crying. I felt terrible but I was very mad. I asked her why she was crying. She said it was because her Baba and I had not kissed before he left home. I told her “It’s ok Mannu. He thinks I don’t deserve his kisses.” Mannu retorted with “But you should’ve told him that you do deserve it. You should not have let him go” I did feel ashamed and was worried about what a terrible example we had set in front of them. I tried to console her saying “Don’t worry Mantam. Baba and I will sort it out soon. By evening you will probably see that we are back to normal. There is nothing to worry about. Even if we fight, we will never stop loving each other”.

Flashback:

Our very dear friends, who Mantam had been very close to, got separated a couple of years back. It did affect them to a certain extent. Ever since, I have noticed that even if Abbas and I have silly arguments which we are not even serious about, they feel jittery.

 

Mannu was so very upset with me that she chose to sport a pumpkin like expressionless face till we reached the station. Tammu, on the other hand, was on my side as expected. She was very upset too after the drama but as I have mentioned before, she loves me blindly. She came and hugged me saying “I am very angry with Baba. He knows that your parents are angry with you. How can he hurt you Mumma?” with moisty eyes. I couldn’t help but smile at her innocence and embraced her tightly and told her that her Baba does love me immensely and that a few skirmishes only strengthen our love for each other.

I kept on thinking about the whole episode during my train journey to work. I didn’t think it was my fault but to be fair, it wasn’t Abbas’s either. I blamed it on the stress! The week had started off with too much pressure. Both Monday and Tuesday had been longer than usual as Abbas had to leave early on both days and come back home late due to swimming classes in the evenings. It must have been pent up fatigue that showed up its ugly colours. My adamant self was pulling me back from messaging Abbas to sort things out. On the contrary my sensible self kept on taking the phone to text him and putting it back with a battle going on within me. Sensibility triumphed over stubborn ego, and I picked up the phone finally to type out an apology and a request to meet for lunch.

And so we met for lunch. Although the conversation started with a bit of friction, it all ended well and I told him about the girls’ reactions. In the evening when we reached home, Mantam had forgotten about it all as we were back to business as usual. When I brought out the topic of us having had lunch together, my daughters literally had their jaws on the floor 😀

 

I had to write about this fight as a reminder to ourselves that we don’t ever want this to repeat. Even if we do, we must prevent it in fornt of the kids. Abbas, hope you remember this too! 😀

 
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Posted by on February 24, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

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Mantam-isms

Abbas usually takes Mantam for the weekly grocery shopping when I give him a list beforehand. But the trio comes back many additional items that I never mentioned, occasionally goofing up and rarely missing items requested.

After coming back from one such expedition, I was putting away the groceries in their rightful places. I spotted baby broccoli when I had mentioned Broccoli. I usually don’t buy the baby version as they are costlier than the usual one.

Me: Hey, why did you guys buy Baby Broccoli?

Mannu (rolling eyes): Mumma, did you want a family Broccoli??


Then I spotted two new items in the shopping bag and raised my eyebrows?

Me: What’s this? Who bought them?

Tammu: Mumma, they are hanitisers.

Me (already started laughing): Tammu, what’s a hanitiser darling?

Tammu: We bought it to keep in our school bags Mumma. You know they can be used to clean our hands.

Me: But what you are talking about are called Hand Sanitisers, not Hanitisers?!!!

Tammu: Bwahahahaha , that’s what I meant. You understood right?


Mantam go to gymnastics classes on Saturday mornings. One particular Saturday before everyone woke up I was watching a Kannada movie after a long time on my phone. The movie kept me glued and I was enjoying it. I had to keep it aside to fix breakfast for the kids and pack them off to the classes. Abbas went to drop them and I plonked myself on the sofa resuming my movie session. When Abbas came back after dropping them, he saw me shedding buckets of tears looking at my phone. He was terrified at the sight but I told him it was an emotional scene in the movie about son and dad that tugged at my heartstrings.

Abbas had his breakfast, sat for a while and went back to pick Mantam from the classes. The girls stormed in to the house and took me to task.

Mumma: “Did you cry in our absence?”

Me (giving Abbas the why-did-you-have-tell-them-you-big-mouth look): Errrr, I was watching a Kannda movie and there was an emotional scene.

Tammu: So Mumma, from today onwards we declare it illegal for you to watch any Kannada movies!!


We all love the song ‘Hanikarak bapu’ from Dangal. We were listening to it in repeat mode.

Me: Mantam, do you know the meaning of Hanikarak Bapu?

Mantam: No Mumma

Me: It means dangerous father. In your case, it would be Hanikarak Mumma as I’m the one who is strict and makes you do things whether you like it or not.

Mantam (start giggling)

Me (sounding hopeful): Arey, aren’t you supposed to say I’m not an evil momma?

Mantam: Well, we’ll think about it


We bought bicycles for Mantam recently as we realised how bad parents we have been that they still cannot ride a two wheeler. We had bought one long back but we were too lazy to take them to a park and teach them. This time around, we resolved to take them every weekend to learn riding. The first time Abbas took them by himself as I was late from work. The second time we all went together and both the girls didn’t trust me to teach them and each demanded Baba.

Finally, Tammu was brave enough to allow me to supervise her.  After a while of practicing

Tammu: Mumma, you are getting better at it now. Don’t give up!

Me: Whatt a what a what a what whatttt??? Aren’t I the one supposed to say that?!!


Mannu is enjoying reading a lot these days. She was glued to a book called Margaret, which she had borrowed from School library. She was telling me that is she would not finish it before the next week’s library session, she would request it to be re-issued. I took them to our local library too and Mannu was searching the catalogue for Margaret high and low.

On Thursday evening:

Me: Mannu, did you get your Margaret book re-issued today?

Mannu: Nah! I returned it and got some other books.

Me: So did you finish reading it?

Mannu: No, I didn’t

Me: Then why did you return it? You really liked the book, didn’t you?

Mannu: Well, I didn’t like it so much after all!

Me: And you are telling this today?

Mannu: Eh? Would you have liked me to tell you tomorrow Mumma?

Me (banging the palm of my hand to my forehead): No thank you!!


Mantam and I walk to the station together in the morning, they catch the bus to school and I the train to work. Mantam’s school bus leaves at 8:45 AM but I can’t afford to wait to see them off, so they see me off first and then wait for a bit before hopping on their bus. Now, I have a train at 8:31 and the next at 8:41. My goal everyday is to catch the 8:31 and but I fail 😦 Some days we get so late that we even rush at jet speed to catch 8:41 too. On one of those days:

Me: We are super duper late today Mantam. Let’s walk really fast.

Mannu: Mumma are we going to miss our bus?

Me: No no, you both will get the bus. But I am worried about not being able to catch my train.

Me (continuesw to blabber while walking): Increase your speed girls. I am not able to catch my usual 8:31 these days. On most days I have been taking the second train at 8:41. Today we  are struggling to catch the second one too. Forget about my usual train

Tammu: Mumma, if you are taking the second train on most days, isn’t that supposed to be your usual train? Don’t worry, we are only hurrying to catch your usual train today.

We all cracked up!


Tammu got selected in her school’s T-ball team. We got a note saying her team will be travelling to a park every Friday to compete against another school. We were asked to send a pair of long socks and shin guard for her. Abbas bought them and at home we were trying to put it on.

Tammu putting the shin guard on..

Me: Tammu, wear the long socks first and on top of it you can put on the shin guard

Abbas (laughing his head off): Seemu, you have zero knowledge about sports. Tammu, don’t listen to Mumma, keep going with the shin guard.

Tammu: Baba, Mumma must be right

Abbas: Tammu, Mumma has not played any sport ever. I used to be a soccer player and I have worn all this. You listen to me.

Me: Arey, the shin guard has such a pretty colour, isn’t it supposed to be seen? If she covers it with the socks, what a waste of colour?

Abbas: Seemu yaar, please! Come on, she is not going for a fashion show to show off colours and patterns

Tammu: Baba, Mumma might be right you know? Let’s check a youtube video on how to wear the shin guard.

Me (thinking how this girl blindly believes her Mumma and basking in the pride)

The youtube video proves Abbas right.

Tammu: It’s ok Mumma, don’t be sad ok?

Me: Takes my blind lover into arms and squishes and smothers her with kisses

Abbas: What about me you girls???


 

 
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Posted by on February 19, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

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Withdrawal symptoms detected

I had heard somewhere that when you do something continuously for thirteen days it becomes a habit. I’ve been writing every night for the last thirty-one days before going to sleep. I seem to be highly addicted to this and had to switch on the laptop before making my way to bed.

Just a small highlight of the day to record here:

I made Abbas read yesterday’s post the first thing this morning as soon as he woke up and we were in a mushy mood. We had to wake up early as Abbas was traveling to the city office today and had to take the train instead of going to his usual office (located in a remote place). Now the office that he had to go to was very close to mine. I really wanted to go out with him for lunch as we hardly get this kind of opportunity as we work in two different corners of Sydney. But Abbas told me that he had the meeting from 12-4:30. I still messaged him around 11 to check if he would be able to meet me and he did not reply. Since I had not taken my lunch with the hope of eating out with my husband, I walked to a place that made manoushe (a kind of lebanese pizza)first and then went to the nearest park with takeaway lunch and a book in my hand. The next 40 minutes were spent devouring the delicious food, feeling of reading after a long, the lush greenery and birds in the park.

I went back to office and received a call from Abbas asking if I could come. I had to deny heavy heartedly as I had already been away during the lunch break and couldn’t afford to venture out again. Around 3PM, I suddenly got an idea to go back home with him. What if we couldn’t lunch together? We could travel in the train together! I left work early and met him in the station. We sat side by side, holding hands, talking without any distraction after a long time. I felt so happy as we hardly get opportunities for this kind of alone time anymore 😦 We walked back home together, hopped into our car and I sat behind the steering wheel. I have mustered all the courage to start practicing for the driving test. We went to pick Mantam from their after school care and came back home.

Conversation during the usual tea-sipping session:

Abbas: Seemu, what are you making for dinner?

Me: Pan fried noodles

Abbas: Hey I had bougt that Ching’s instant noodles. Make that na? Why are you making complicated stuff and taking stress

Me: I’m using your Ching’s noodles only to make pan fried noodles only.

Abbas: Why do you make your life so complicated? You could have easily made instant noodles and taken rest. But no, you have to find a way to invite challenge on yourself.

Me (thinking what veggies I have in the fridge I can add in): Errrr…

Abbas: You could have easily married a guy whom your parents would have chosen for you. You would have been living a luxurious life and made everyone happy and been contented yourself. But no! You had to make it complicated and chose to marry me. A guy whose to toe is broken, ligament is torn, spinal chord injured and of course the rest of the mismatches like religion, age, bla bla!

Me: (I am bad at expressing verbally. So I showed him this video:)

And yes, he snores 10 times louder and worser than the guy in the commercial. Yet, I could not have asked for a better husband for myself!!

 

 
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Posted by on February 1, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

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Day 29 | When Amma spoke

This happened in October 2015. I wanted to write about this on the blog but somehow it never made it here.

In 2015, when Amma’s birthday was nearing something made me look for online gift delivery services to my town. I had done this search many times even before but there was no such facility available as Kundapura is a small town. But that very time, I landed upon a website that would deliver to my town at an additional delivery fee. I was beyond ecstatic to find that I could finally send something to my family. My mom is not a fan of cakes or sweets as much. I thought flowers would be the safest bet and ordered flowers and a card for her.

On the day of her birthday, I got a confirmation that my order had been delivered. After returning from work, I called Amma. This is how the conversation went:

Amma: Hello?

Me (hesitantly) : Huh… huh…looo

Amma: Haan Hello

Me: Amma, Seema here

Amma: Yes tell me

Me (thinking Amma didn’t hear that it was me, coz this was the first time she responded after hearing my voice, otherwise she would just go on silent mode): Amma, I’m Seema speaking!

Amma: Yes, I know!

Me (thought I was dreaming, heart paced faster than ever, pinched myself hard, didn’t know what to say next, mumbled in a single breath): Happy Birthday Amma

Amma: Thank you

Me: Amma, did you get the flowers?

Amma: Yes I got the flowers, they’re good

Me (Still overcoming shock that she spoke to me, but clueless what to speak next): ?!?!?!

Amma: God bless you. Be happy.

….. And she hung up

I was still in a daze. It all felt surreal. Abbas kept asking me what happened? And I took some moment to collect myself together and told him how that call had gone. We were both astounded at what had just happened. We couldn’t believe it, Abbas asked me many times if I had really heard her say all that! And I was like ‘Yes, yes, yes!’

Although our happiness knew no bounds that day, I still had a doubt that she had to speak to me normally as I had heard some background noise with a lot of people chatting in the background. She might have just done so to avoid an awkward situation. I dunno why but it was too good to be true that your mom had spoken to you after 9 years. In spite of the doubts, our hopes of being accepted had suddenly shot up. We thought this could be a small beginning. Abbas told me to call back in a few days to keep it going. I was terribly scared to call back again, I wanted to live in the exhilaration of having heard my Amma speak to me. I was scared that the next call would break that euphoria and that is exactly what happened. Next call went back to the usual scene of me calling and Amma not responding. Sigh!

Cut to 2016 October, I ordered a combo of flowers and some sweets. I think the website specifically asked for a mobile phone number and my Annu’s (dad) number was all that I had. So I gave his number and placed the order. Come 9th of October, I was waiting anxiously to receive a delivery confirmation and to call her. I had a tinge of hope that the history could repeat again. I received an email saying the order could not be delivered to the recipient as they had rejected to receive the delivery. I was devastated. I made a call nevertheless and this time asked Mantam to wish Amma first. But my dad had picked up and as soon as he heard Mantam’s voice starting to sing ‘Happy…’, he bluntly hung up. I was too stunned to react. Tammu started crying profusely, Mannu was visibly upset too. I decided from then on that I would not ask Mantam speak to them unless the relationship comes to good terms. I don’t want to paint a negative picture of my parents in their eyes.

Honestly, I was shattered beyond repair after that incident. I resolved not to contact them ever again out of disappointment. But I found myself texting my dad (dunno if he reads them at all) the very next day. The hope of reuniting with my parents is gradually dwindling in its strength. I just wish them well, that’s all!

 
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Posted by on January 29, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

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